Car Dealership Offers Discounts for McCain Bumper Stickers

What Cheer, IA - A used-car salesman in a small town in Iowa is offering 5% discounts to customers who agree to place a John McCain sticker on their new car’s bumper. Jedikiah Robertson, the 51-year-old owner of the car dealership, decided to run the promotion from October until election day.

The dealership, officially known as Jedikiah’s Previously Owned Vehicles of What Cheer, is offering an automatic 5% reduction of the vehicle’s purchase price if the buyer agrees to slap a McCain 2008 sticker on the bumper. In addition to boosting car sales, Jedikiah also hopes to lend some shameless compulsory promotion to the McCain/Palin campaign. He believes this strategy will serve his financial interests in more ways than one.

“Under that Muslim fella’s tax plan, I would fall into the ‘wealthy’ category, which means the government would tax the daylights out of me. I work hard for my money, and I’m not inclined to part with it. Hawking cars day in and day out ain’t easy. I have to wind a lot of odometers back and glue a lot of bumpers on to pull in my $250,000 a year,” says Jedikiah.

Jedikiah Robertson, or “J. Ro” to his drinking buddies, has been a fervent supporter of the McCain/Palin campaign ever since he learned of the two candidates’ tax policies. Barack Obama plans to increase the tax burden on the wealthiest Americans, a group that includes Jedikiah and his wife, Mabel. The two refuse to take the possibility of higher taxes lying down.

“We want to do everything we can to keep that Borat Obama from takin’ our money, and we reckon, shoot, why not sell some used cars while we’re at it,” Mabel added.

The unusual promotion certainly has caused quite a stir in the small town of What Cheer. The whole town is abuzz, and the promotion is also drawing business from surrounding areas.

Marge Gunderson, who recently purchased a car from Jedikiah, drove all the way from the even smaller town of Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa when she got wind of the promotion. When asked if she had been willing to place a McCain sticker on her new car’s bumper, Marge responded, “Oh, you betcha. I like that Sarah Palin, and her running mate is a heck of a guy, too. I guess I just like the maverickishness they both have.”

Some customers have even wanted to go above and beyond Jedikiah’s one-sticker-per-car request. Buck Johnson, another customer of the dealership, asked Jedikiah if he could get the car for free if he fashioned hundreds of John McCain stickers in the shape of flames on the sides of his new vehicle. Jedikiah declined, limiting each customer to only a 5% discount.

Jedikiah concedes that customers could easily take advantage of the promotion without necessarily accomplishing his end goal. For instance, one customer, a rabid Obama supporter who wished to remain anonymous , bought a car from Jedikiah, got the discount, and endured the ignominy of a McCain-emblazoned bumper just long enough to drive off the lot. Once out of view, he ripped off and ritualistically burned the sticker and is now having a three-by-five-feet mural of Obama’s face put on his car by the world famous What Cheer Kustomz Kar Kompany. He is also looking into 24″ chrome spinners with a twirling Obama head in the center.

If nothing else, Jedikiah’s sales ploy has certainly brought publicity to his modest small-town dealership. He also believes he has done his part in promoting the McCain/Palin ticket.

“It’s like that shirt Mabel got me for Christmas . . . I’d rather be a conservative nut job than a liberal with no nuts and no job,” Robertson said with a hearty chuckle.

Whether Robertson’s grassroots McCain campaign promotion will change the political landscape indelibly remains to be seen. Come election day, though, Jedikiah says he’ll have “no compunction” about taking a little bit of credit for a McCain/Palin victory.